Stagnant. Floating. Motionless.
You know, not sinking but not swimming, either. You’re not really going anywhere, you’re just kind of existing.
According to Adam Grant, psychologists call that “languishing”.
Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.
It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either.
Adam did a great job calling out languishing as a natural result of the pandemic in a recent article he wrote.
I’d argue that plenty of people were languishing way before then. Of course, the pandemic probably only amplified it. I believe the noise of the internet plays a big role.
Think about it. Social media rewards you with short-term endorphins with every like or comment — all of which get lost to the abyss within a day or two.
The online world is filled with too many people saying a whole lot of nothing yet we consume more than ever before.
This is the internet’s greatest illusion. We spend all our time on it for short-term “good feels” that amount to nothing substantial in the end.
The internet is the perfect trap for you to languish without noticing.
Side Note: It’s not all bad. Some of us try to create meaningful things on here. It’s just not as easy to find.
Languishing Leads to Depression and Anxiety
Languishing was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes.
His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren’t the ones with those symptoms today. They’re the people who are languishing right now.
Major depression and anxiety disorders don’t overtake a person’s life overnight. It’s usually a process.
I’ve gone through a couple of languishing seasons in life. I bet you have too.
These seasons sneak up on you. It doesn’t help that everyone around you treats you as if you were thriving like before. It’s not their fault. How could anyone possibly know you’re languishing?
We’re all guilty of going through the motions of life while our intention and mindfulness fade away like ninjas. Before we know it, we’re depressed and adopt habits that work against us.
What can we do about it?
A concept called “flow” may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away.
To spark the state of flow within you, Adam recommends the following:
- Uninterrupted time
- Focusing on a small goal
Great advice.
There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing | New York Times
My Antidote: Introspection
I’d like to offer you another antidote: Introspection.
In my opinion, languishing can only sneak up on you if you’re not paying attention. Setting goals, journaling, measuring progress, and reflecting make all the difference. If you’re not doing any of that often, then I bet you’re languishing.
When I’ve lingered too long in between failure and progress, I take it as a sign that something is changing.
Maybe I no longer believe in something. Perhaps life variables outside of my control have changed. Maybe something is prompting me to pivot in life.
Something has changed internally or externally and I haven’t adjusted my life accordingly.
For me, that’s when languishing starts to creep into my life.
Find Answers Within You
Train yourself to go into introspection mode when you first notice yourself languishing.
Introspection mode means searching for answers. The tricky thing is that no amount of science or knowledge can give you those answers. No, you must search within yourself and evaluate your life as a whole.
The thing you must summon is wisdom.
Wisdom can only be found from deep inside you. Of course, someone can share wisdom with you but it’s the deep part of you that receives it.
The truth is no one can tell you for sure why you’re languishing.
Don’t get me wrong, therapists are great — especially when they’ve earned their stripes. A good therapist won’t simply give you answers, their trade is in helping you find answers within you.
Mute the Noise
If you’re languishing, then take a social media break. Reconnect with wise people you’ve probably avoided. Start asking tough questions.
In my experience, to regain control of the rhythm of life, you’ll need to understand why you’re languishing. Introspection gives you that.
Languishing can be a blessing if you’re paying attention.
What do you think? Are you languishing right now? Watcha gonna do ‘bout it?
– Luis
PS – Have you listened to the recent episode of the podcast? I interviewed Jesus Gonzalez, a food entrepreneur. We talk about moving away to grow into oneself.